Posted September 4, 2013 by CPS

We at CPS love salsa – it’s delicious, it goes on everything, and it’s made of vegetables. Really, how else would we get our daily serving of veggies if not by combining them all in one jar? We’ll tell you how: by combining them all in one mouth.

Making salsa is a hassle. Homemade salsa really does taste better. It’s true, we’ve learned this at every big game party and quinceañera we’ve been invited to. Although, given our penchant for eating large quantities of one food, it’s understandable that we don’t get invited to too many of these any more. Hint hint. Call us.

If you’re a restaurateur, you use some kind of food processor to make this whole process easier. Commercial kitchen equipment make salsa a snap. But sadly, when that breaks, we have to resort to using our mouths to slice and dice. So when you need a part, call CPS. Don’t make your customers use their mouths.

So what do you do when you love the taste of salsa, but there are no working machines? You open the pantry, get everything you need for salsa (tomato, onion, jalapeño, cilantro, and chips), and then you mix it together with your mighty face blender. What’s that? You don’t know what a mighty face blender is? It’s your mouth, blogosphere. And we demand a Cuisinart attachment that does the chewing for us by year’s end. You’re welcome, food processor manufacturers everywhere. We already stock the replacement parts for that invention of the future.

Until food processor technology catches up, you’ll just have to chew your way through the salsa in the meantime. The succulent tomato. The spicy jalapeño pepper. The crispy chip and refreshing cilantro! And the onion. We could write, sing, and auto-tune odes about the onion, nature’s most delicious tear-inducing treat. We won’t bore you with our record sales in Japan, though. This is America, where we celebrate our onion-loving selves by eating them like apples.

That’s right. One honkin’ mouthful at a time.

CPS: Stocking Commercial Kitchen Equipment Parts So You Don’t Have to Watch Customers Attempt to Make Salsa on Their Own

Watch our video at: http://vimeo.com/70881881