CPS Really, Really Misses Water

So. Bad news, internet. After our last Cinco de Dryo challenge, water didn’t take us back. We may have been a little harsh with our break-up speech. What were we thinking? Why would you let us to do that to water? Water was always there for us. We miss water so, so much. Our mouths are dry, and we’re scared. We’re scared, internet.

In an attempt to win water back, one brave CPS employee will compete in another show of how much we need water. Maybe after she sees this, she’ll get back together with us. That’s right, water is a ‘she’. The ocean is a harsh mistress and all of water is connected, so it follows that the entirety of water is female.

This challenge is the Cinco de Dryo Part Deux, Revenge of Dehydration. Same rules as last time. The contestant has to eat five each of Oreos, pretzel rods, powdered donuts, saltines, and melba toasts. And, since water still won’t talk to us, the challenger is similarly unaided by any liquid in the challenge.

We don’t advise that you ever fight with water. Make sure your machines are always in working order and that you replace broken parts immediately. A life without water is not worth living.

As you’ll see pretty quickly in the video.

CPS: Stocking Parts for, Like, Every Liquid Machine in the Country.

And it’s still not enough hydration.

Watch our video at: https://vimeo.com/70872772